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Friday Open Thread #7(a): I am here to offer you something

June 4, 2010

Tell us what would have happened if there had been an episode last week.

  1. June 4, 2010 9:06 am

    BP executive wanders off with the wrong hooker and his body is found the next day floating in the bayou. Treme writers enjoy this so much that it becomes a recurring theme, like McNulty showing up drunk on your doorstep or Antoine having a kid. Eventually Chief Lambreaux makes the startling discovery that most of the boarded-up housing units in the projects are hiding rotting corpses of oil executives. A celebratory second line is held, oil exec finger bones become a hot item at Marie Laveaux’s voodoo shop, and the SELA Flood Protection Authority armors the levees with their skulls.

  2. June 4, 2010 9:16 am

    Standing at a Mardi Gras parade, Jacques the sous-chef professes to Janette his undying love. The resulting shock causes Janette to stumble backwards into a parade truck whereupon she is hit in the head by a falling box of Franzia some northshore frat kid lost while reaching over to unload his wares on an Uptown teeny bopper, and has to be whisked away to Touro in an ambulance that miraculously makes it way through the throngs and onto the parade route. Janette then contracts amnesia, forgot she was ever a chef and opens a brothel next door to Marie Laveaux’s voodoo shop.

    Hey, at least the part about being beaned hard in the head by some really large beads or a box of wine some first-time Tucks rider threw at you is totally plausible.

    I want so badly for Jacques and Janette to get together and know it can’t happen. It’s Simon-land, it can’t.

  3. Virgotex permalink
    June 4, 2010 10:02 am

    Frustrated by Creighton’s attitude, Toni leaves the house and drives around aimlessly, ending up at CdM, where she encounters Annie. Drawn in by the young busker’s hopeless dark eyes, she tentatively kisses her. Annie initially returns the kiss, then pulls back murmuring, “I don’t know how to do this, I’m sorry.” Steve Earle crawls out from under the tablecloth, spouting folksy and wry encouragement, and reassures her that her embouchure will improve with practice. We see a shot of him drinking an espresso, his beard full of powdered sugar, watching Toni and Annie walk toward Jackson Square hand in hand, silhouetted in the light of the cathedral.
    Some other shit happens and by the end of the episode, Annie has moved in with Toni and they have adopted two adorable twins from le Spawn d’Antoine Home for Surplus Plot devices.

  4. racymind permalink
    June 4, 2010 10:13 am

    Oh. My. Yes.

    Did I say ‘Oh Yeah! yet?

    I would like. To subscribe. To your newsletter.

  5. June 4, 2010 10:42 am

    Creighton shows up at a conference on the future of New Orleans limping and in obvious pain from his recent vasectomy.

  6. June 4, 2010 10:49 am

    Jacques is sitting on his scruffy but noble stoop, with a grin, a bright clean shirt, and a tasteful square of red color in the background, and along walks Annie, all alone in the world, with her fiddle and her hopeless dark eyes. She is deep in worried thought and seems to be concentrating on whatever music is playing on her iPod. Suddenly, her eyes and Jacques’ eyes meet. She childishly puts one of her earbuds into his welcoming ear, and the two of them no longer have any more emotional or financial turmoil, because just for that moment, life is perfect.

  7. virgotex permalink*
    June 4, 2010 11:23 am

    all alone in the world, with her fiddle and her hopeless dark eyes.

    all alone in the world, with her fiddle in one hand, and her hopeless dark eyes on a plate in the other.

  8. June 4, 2010 11:44 am

    Best. Thread. EVER.

    Janette gets drunk and proposes that she and Davis have a threesome with Jacques. Davis, up for anything, says yes. Jacques, however, locks Davis out of his house and the threesome continues with Jacques’s secret boyfriend, the police chief.


  9. June 4, 2010 11:45 am

    Steve Earle would so not fit under a CdM table! The rest is pretty cool though. 😉

  10. June 4, 2010 11:46 am

    Creighton doesn’t need a vasectomy. He is quite obviously celibate. 😉

  11. June 4, 2010 11:48 am

    Fan-fic erotica.

    The end is near.

  12. June 4, 2010 11:48 am

    I like this. A lot.

  13. June 4, 2010 11:50 am

    Maitri, I also am wishing for Jacques/Janette coupling. I’m big on hopelessly hoping though, and less schooled in DS than you, so I’ll continue to hope for it.

  14. June 4, 2010 11:50 am

    Been no doubt since Willie cut off the pigtails.

  15. June 4, 2010 12:19 pm

    I guess it could, but not happily ever after, which doesn’t happen even in real life.

    But, the strength of romantic love is a very real thing and brought many couples through the rough times. For instance, sweet old couples who went through hell and back with insurance and RoadHome who would smile at each other and then say to me, “It’s all ok as long as we have one another.” It was as reassuring to watch as seeing marriages fall apart was not.

    Other than Albert fathering his fellow Indians, I am not seeing much of anyone really being there for anyone else in the show so far, even couples. It’s all brittle, rugged resilience; each man/woman to himself/herself. And, maybe, in a sense, it is.

  16. Virgotex permalink
    June 4, 2010 12:29 pm

    We’ve seen numerous instances of people being there for each other

  17. brueso permalink
    June 4, 2010 12:31 pm

    Via Treme-Jaxx: An interview with Steve Zahn about Davis (who he concedes can be a grating asshole) from Movieline magazine:

  18. brueso permalink
    June 4, 2010 12:31 pm

    (via Treme-Jazz, that is!)

  19. June 4, 2010 12:43 pm

    Thanks brueso.

    (Although see what happens when they downsize their editors and fact-checkers? They end up publishing stories about Jacques Morel, and the Redbird Band.)

  20. June 4, 2010 12:47 pm

    Just found backoftown and I send my compliments to each of you. You all have great imaginations!

    A secret code is flashed on the screen during the credits, you recite the code as you fall asleep and your dreams are in vivid Louisiana Technicolor, musical score by Allen Toussaint and you become a character in your Treme fantasy episode. You wake up smiling.

  21. June 4, 2010 12:58 pm

    Of course, Virgo, what LaDonna did for Antoine, Antoine did for his mentor and Davis’s neighbors did for him stand out for starters. But, I’m talking about someone to call your own, someone you crawl in bed with at night who gets you, with whom you know things are going to be alright and solid when you wake up the next morning and the next. There’s a lot of that I saw in NOLA after the storm, too. That’s all.

  22. June 4, 2010 1:16 pm

    Domestic bliss and security doesn’t make for riveting teleplays. Who knows, this may be where the rubber meets the road between ‘real life’ and ‘remember this is a television show striving to stay on the air.’

  23. June 4, 2010 2:15 pm

    There is a sign behind the bar at d.b.a. that reads, “If your name is Davis Rogan, please leave.” It’s been there a while. Pre-Treme fo sho.

  24. June 4, 2010 2:20 pm

    I left them a comment, and they now reference Jacques Morial and the Rebirth Bass Band. And they removed my comment. Leaving them another, obviously.

  25. June 4, 2010 2:34 pm

    The Rebirth Bass Band, with Big Mouth Billy on lead bass.

  26. liprap permalink
    June 5, 2010 11:10 am

    And it would only really work if Creigh were handling the sound…

  27. liprap permalink
    June 5, 2010 11:19 am

    Phyllis Montana Leblanc can’t get a teaching job at Fortier, of course, since it’s now part of Lusher, so she heads on over to get a job at Lusher and runs into the long octopus arms of Tulane sponsoring Lusher’s charter and crowding out the kids who actually live in the neighborhood for the kids of Tulane parents – not to mention the massive hirings of Teach for America kids over experienced teachers such as herself. Incensed by this turn of events, she jumps into helping found Save Our Schools NOLA but cannot stem the tide of charter schools changing the teaching landscape. Li’l Honore Antoinette gets dragged along as her mama prepares to run for a position on the Orleans Parish School Board to get things better for teachers and for neighborhood kids who want to go to their neighborhood schools….’cause we got to make things better for all the spawn d’Antoine.

  28. June 5, 2010 12:02 pm

    You rock! You totally rock!

  29. wigatrisk permalink
    June 5, 2010 5:40 pm

    Cool. I wait with baited breath…

  30. Michele permalink
    June 7, 2010 12:59 pm

    Best thread I’ve read here since the show debuted!

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